tired

rough week, little sleep, back ache, cold people, warm people, loads of work....sigh

July and August

I went home in July for 17 days. It was good for me.
Came back, worked on script, handed in first draft, will get feedback 3 days from now.
I will be homeless in less than 30 days, and I will leave England in less than 2 months.
Festival work will come on strong in September and will probably be hell for me.
I have a loan to pay once I finish the MA.
I am going through a phase of great uncertainty in my life.
I don't know what is going to happen.

Just came across this line...it's just beautiful. Sniff

“My creed is love. Wherever its caravan turns along the way, love is my belief and is my faith.” -- Ibn Arabi

Hahahaha

Everything is okay. I am alone with my projects. Tomorrow I will see if I can go home. The soundtrack of my state of mind is the playful J'en ai marre (I'm fed up) by Alizee...

I NEED TO GO HOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I am getting upset over stupidities.
I am getting fed up, irritated with everything.
Zero tolerance, zero patience.
I need a fucking break.

And I can't...I will take a nap :((((((((((((((((((((((((

It's over

Sounds so cliche to say I feel relieved.

My soul rests?

My body sighs

My being slumps, collapsed, energy-free

Why am I not sleeping? I 've only slept two hours or so. It was like I was torturing myself, depriving myself of sleep, with a bright light on...trying to get through, trying to advance and get closer to ... and it wasn't perfect, what I handed in. But I am so tired, SO TIRED

I need a break NOW

I feel so tired, brain and body equally. This is a bloody race and I am out of shape. Or I worry too much. I cannot be a carefree wild flower growing on a hill, though. I care and I suffer. And I need a time-out. I feel I can't do all I have to do in 3 days. I will collapse at some point. Maybe I'm dehydrated by all the caffeine. Maybe all I need is a soft hand....?

My favorite song right now

Soft Hand by Willard Grant Conspiracy

Flowers on the table
have all gone sour.
The clutter that surrounds us
leaves me with a dry mouth.

All I need is a soft hand
to ease me in. (3x)

The only thing we have left:
skin against skin.

There, I made ya smile.
There, I made ya smile.
Made ya smile again.

Cut the service on the phone
don't let anyone know
we're alone.
It's so perfect, here in bed.
Just let the sunshine ease us in.

There, I made ya smile.
There, I made ya smile.
Made ya smile again.

All I need is a soft hand (4x)
To ease me in...

Great weekend...!!

More postcard days, long walks, people on the street, impromptu visits to friends, reliable friends who cooperate with you, some homework done, GOOD MUSIC, the feeling of freedom and of myriad possibilities, an almost empty cinema and a good movie.......AND LOADS OF HOME-MADE PIZZA.

Porridge day

a sleep deprived race that has barely begun, it continues for another week. this is only the first hurdle.... where will i be a year from now?

Tranquil sea

I am standing in a clearing in the woods. I am not out of them yet. But I am near. Everything seems to have found a balance, which I desperately needed. Irrelevance and irrelevants are gone or at least have disappeared for now. Focusing on my priorities and interests.

Damn joy

Even though I do not like Morrissey, tonight lyrics from the song "HEAVEN KNOWS I'M MISERABLE NOW " come to mind. Why do I give valuable time to people who don't care if I live or die?
Okay, so it's not just tonight. It is more frequent than that.

I'm such a big emotional investor. My heart gags and ties up my brain. And no man understands that, no man respects that.

I will sleep a pouty sleep.

Rains haven't stopped

Weatherwise and otherwise.....I need to get through the next 4 weeks. Somehow. Still tired, maybe too much caffeine, maybe late sleeping hours, maybe .....

I am having one of those Cancerian days ....... I need a 30-minute hug.

Sigh....

So tired... :(

Do I see a light?

In Proposalathon.....my future happiness depends on it. Will I make it? Will I wow people? I don't know. *sigh x 100 m*
Days continue to be beautiful and to feel more familiar. More normal.
Very scared...

Times are tough....here's my saving plan

"PLAN APRETAR EL BOLSILLO"

- Cabello: no mas tintes. Solo champu.
- Ojos: usar lentes de contacto muy poco porque para usarlos necesito la solucion para limpiarlos y esta cuesta caro.
- Dientes: no change. (solo pasta y cepillo) pero comprar el mas barato
- Cara: no change (solo liquido limpiador) pero comprar el mas barato. No comprar cosmeticos por ningun motivo. Usar lo que tengo hasta que se acabe.
- Desodorante: no change, pero comprar el mas barato.
- Perfume: usar el que tengo esporadicamente hasta que se acabe y no comprar mas cuando se acabe.
- Jabon: comprar el mas barato.
- Detergente: usar menos.
- Laundry: lavar ropa interior a mano y no en lavadora como lo estaba haciendo. Lo que hay que lavar en lavadora solo lavar, pero no secar, y en su lugar colgar en ganchos alrededor del cuarto para secar.
NO COMPRAR ROPA POR NINGUN MOTIVO.

Comida y bebida:

No mas sodas ni bebidas extras de cualquiera indole. Verificar que cuesta mas cafe instantaneo o el de cafetera. Optar por el mas barato. Llevar agua de la pluma en una botella.

No comer afuera. Llevar siempre sandwiches (eso he estado haciendo en estas 3 semanas que he trabajado) para almorzar y cocinar la cena.

Buscar SIEMPRE precios mas baratos. Antes sentia que era opcional. Por eso de calidad y precio.

Transporte:
Caminar a todos lados. Y rechazar ir a lugares que requieran pagar transporte vehicular.

Diversion gratis:
Sacar peliculas de la biblioteca. Ir al cine cuesta 9 dolares el boleto.
Leer el poco de libros que he comprado, que son mas de 10.
Chatear con la familia.
Hablar con gente a mi alrededor.
Celular: textear solo en caso de emergencia, usar email como primera opcion..

Spring has finally arrived. Postcard days!

Gyllynvase beach - April 9, 2006

It was a Friday night in March 2006, Aurvi, Shilpi and I were just about to hit the Cornish metropolis of Falmouth